I have an Internet stalker.

His name is bstorer. He lives on bstorer.com and The Daily WTF.

It all started when we started talking on IRC. I suppose he thought that I was so interesting and so perceptive that he had no choice but to scour the Internets for more information about me.

The first thing he did was make a resume based on all of the information he thought he had about me. Most of it is made up, of course, but it's a pretty hilarious resume nonetheless. I admire his dedication and his addition of a laser, which I adore greatly. Before I read that resume, I hadn't known that Notepad was a development environment. Also, it's good to know that I'm both proficient in and familiar with C++.

The next thing he did was find a photograph of me from four years ago on the UW math orientation website (the actual site is down right now so I can't link it directly). He thought that I was so impressive and important-looking that he shopped me into a bunch of other images and even made me a linebacker for the Washington Redskins. I don't even know what a linebacker is! Sure sounds important, though. I'm glad the fake Redskins site correctly mentions that I've never played anything remotely related to football. Wouldn't want to lie any about anything, would we, bstorer?

(It's a good thing he didn't find this other image of me.)

I greatly enjoy the time he's taken to manipulate my image and to submit my fake resume as a joke to some potential employers. According to him, I've already had a few interview offers.

I salute you, creepy Internet stalker. You have succeeded in making the world a weirder place and it is better for it.

And now for something completely different: I think gravity is really cool. It keeps me where the air is, and I'm pretty sure I need air to live, so you could say that I owe my life to gravity. I also like the laws of physics. Air wouldn't exist if not for those laws, so I suppose again you could say that I owe my life to the laws of physics. This is why I wrote a physics engine for my final project in graphics in university, and it's why I like things like crazy awesome orbit Flash applications. Seriously, what's not to like about flinging spherical masses around in the dead of space?

If that's not something you consider fun, consider Phun. It's a 2D physics sandwichbox that allows users to create and save physical objects of whatever you can find enough time to build. Personally I think it's a better idea to let other people spend the time building complicated things like armoured tanks and monster trucks and whatnot while I spend my valuable time destroying said tanks and trucks and whatnot. Maybe that's just me, though. Phun is like a 2D Garry's mod that doesn't cost $10 and has an amazingly intuitive interface. Seriously, check it out.

Also, Christmas is tomorrow, so have a good time and try not to get crushed by any trees or Xboxes while driving in the snow.